workin' woman.

I GOT A JOB. I GOT A JOB. *dances*

(above picture is of me and my friends playing with bubbles)

I'M SOOOOO HAPPY. i was just sitting up here, searching for some summer jobs on craigslist and one of the counselors from my school called. she said that i had gotten a job through the city's kid program, but i turned it down because it was everyday, and my class at columbia is tuesday and thursday. so i hung up and told my parents. but my mom and dad were like, "CALL HER BACK! maybe she'll be able to work something out!" so i did, and she said that i'd still be able to do it! YAYYYYYYYYYY. God is good. ^_^

so good...

this weekend has been SO good.

saturday was the chicago public schools' band and orchestra competition. WE. DID. AWESOMELY. (yes, i know awesomely isn't a real adverb..or is it?). i got nervous and my clarinet was squeaking like crazy. i was silently screaming at it, haha. my clarinet started acting fine once we did the sight reading. it went incredibly well! oh my goodness. it was crazy how good we did. it was in no way perfect, but it was just amazing.

and today i've been cleaning around the house, listening to ddr songs and 90s r&b.

ACT exam/PSAE = 2 weeks. and i'm not even nervous, which is rare for me. :]

i love life.

i'm such a lame...

so i lost my CTA card, and i sent off for a new one, and when i got it today, i lost it again. sigh.

tgif

dancing through the house while blasting music is the best way to spend a friday evening. try it - it's pretty exhilarating.

listening to: copeland - when you thought you'd never stand out

"Oh that is so lame! Every hot girl who can aim a camera thinks she's a photographer. Oooh! You took a black & white picture of a lawn chair & it's shadow, & developed it at Save-on! You must be so brooding & deep!" - Stewie Griffin

haha.
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today was much better. in film study, my group got an A on our project, i'm pretty sure i aced my spanish quiz, and i got a B on a history quiz that i didn't even study for! PLUS penn state said that they like my grades/ACT score, so i was too excited when i heard that.

things are looking up. :]

i want to punch a wall.

i'm glad i joined band this year, 'cause if i had joined back in freshman year, i would've dropped out of band because of mr. a.

we have a city competition coming up next month, so mr. w wanted mr. a to come in and see how we sound. he told me that i suck and that i am lazy because my elbow was resting on my knee and i wasn't sitting up straight. it's like, FIRST OF ALL, when i play by myself i get nervous and i sound as if i've never played the clarinet before, SECOND OF ALL, i have scoliosis, so i don't have the best posture in the world. i don't sit lopsided on purpose! i was so mad at myself and at mr. a by the end of class, that i was crying and a classmate had to calm me down.

he didn't have to call me out like that. everyone was saying that he was playing, but he sure didn't sound like it. i can't STAND people like that - who are mean, but uses that as humor. it gets on my friggin' nerves. i don't want him to come back. but i have to endure it all over again next wednesday/thursday. yay for me. -_-

p.s. maybe i'll "accidentally" forget to set my alarm clock and miss 1st period. i think i'm gonna seriously contemplate this...
p.p.s. i lost another pound. :D

random thoughts.

is it healthy that i've been listening to anberlin's "cities" almost non-stop since i got it on the 22nd of february? i swear, when i get a new CD that's absolutely amazing, i listen to it obsessively. AND i didn't get to see anberlin when they came to chicago - the show was sold out. dang. but anyway...

i went to my grandmother's house today, and she was being especially nice. i mean, not that she's mean or anything, but she kept giving me hugs at random times (for instance, i go into the refrigerator for a pop, and she chokes me around my neck and gives me the tightest hug ever. this also occurs when i went to pick up a magazine from the table and when i was eating). i think she was trying to show that she loves me. but i knew that already, and i appreciated it. :]

i lost 5 pounds! i'm happy. for all of february, i was doing a fast with my youth church - i gave up junk food. oh my goodness - it was BRUTAL. for some reason, everyone just had to be selling chocolate and girl scout cookies as soon as my fast started. but i prayed a LOT, and it helped! i haven't even eaten that much junk food since the fast ended. yeah...so it all ended with me losing 5 pounds in the process.

gahhhh. summer quest + scholarships = stress and procrastination! yay! *sigh* i'm beginning to rethink my decision to major in photography. i LOVE it. it's my passion, but i keep thinking of the whole money factor. i know that i should do what i love, and not do something for money, but still - i need to survive, right? grrr. dilemma.

p.s. in the midst of all of the procrastination, i managed the update and redesign my website: aestheticheart.com

(c) sade leflore photography
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i've been thinking. about myself. about how i think, look, the things i say. i used to be so...hard on myself. disgusted at everything i did and everything i had. my hair, lips, eyes, skin. i feel like somehow it's all turned around. i used to feel as if i was under some sort of control...a robot that could never have positive thoughts. i needed a guy to say that he "liked" me so i could feel pretty. it hasn't happened as of yet, but i feel....dare i say, pretty. even though i'm 30 pounds overweight (ehhh...a tinge of negativity?), i think i'm, as my mother has said, "a blossoming rose". i think maybe it's because i'm growing up. i'm not depending on what others say about me. i don't feel as if everyone's looking at me, their field of vision permanently locked on me, i don't feel like a target. i feel free.

my first post!

i'm gonna see just how cool blogger is. it seems awesome. :D